Well, now I just have tons and tons of editing, but I'll put that aside for like, a few weeks! But hell yeah! I've started Nanowrimo like 5 times and have never come close. I'm really proud of myself.

"She could not find a way to laugh at anything during this moment, but instead she fell to her knees, in the middle of all of the smiling, humor-filled people, and broke down. At the sight of this, Bernie collapsed beside her, wrapped his arms around Cora’s neck and nuzzled his face into her thick auburn hair. There, among all of those strangers, without fear or nervousness, or shame, the two of them shed tears more powerful than had ever fallen from their eyes before."



(By the way, I'm at 35,000 words. :D )

I'm doing Nanowrimo this year, as you probably know if you've paid any sort of attention to my facebook updates. Shockingly, I've gotten almost to the halfway mark, just 923 words short. I'm so fucking stoked by that! I've started Nano two or three times in the past. I'm going to post just a small part from my story. Mind you, this is NOT edited at all, as I have no time for editing, it's all about coming up with a novel of at least 50,000 words in the month of November. I'll work on details and rewrites later. Here's what you get for now....

He found himself heading towards the city center where he would find a pub and could sit down for a quick pint to try to clear his head. He needed to devise some sort of plan. He could not go to the authorities; there was not a single soul who would care about the whereabouts of a missing prostitute. In a flash, a thought that he had entertained for hours on end over the years crept into his mind, like a snake, slithering its way up the trunk of a tree, wrapping its body around its prey and squeezing with all its might. This was no time though to begin blaming himself for that moment of weakness between the two of them which resulted in a never-ending battle with the angriest sort of jealousy. It was the sort of jealousy that would devour every ounce of goodness in Bernie’s soul, and turn it into a black cancerous mass that would eat away at his insides. Sometimes the thought of other men on top of his beloved Cora would almost kill him. There was an unbearable time when the lovers fought so often over her punishment that they almost went separate ways permanently. At one point though, Bernie had to pull himself together and accept the fact that they only way the two of them could ever be together was for him to keep the idea of Cora performing sexual favours on other men out of his head. It was not a choice she had made herself, but something forced upon her. The only way out of the contract she had been coerced into signing by The Overlords themselves was death.

 

 

On Friday Ray and I went to Birr Castle. I thought I’d post some photos, although a lot of you have probably already seen them on my Facebook. The weather was nice and chilly and it sprinkled, but it was still warm enough to be comfortable. It took us about 2 hours to go through everything.  A couple teasers and the rest of them behind the cut. I know they aren’t the largest photos, but there are just so many of them! Click to enlarge.

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It’s my favorite season, I love the change  of color from an emerald green to dark reds, yellows and oranges,  the crunching leaves, the smell of the crisp air. Ohio had such a long autumn when I was growing up.  Sweden seemed to have almost no autumn at all where I lived,  just a couple weeks, and so I’m glad to be in Ireland for the past couple of years where the autumn seems to go on forever. We don’t get snow here at all really, maybe 1 or 2 hours of a light drizzly snow that is gone almost as quickly as it falls to the ground. So it’s easy to trick yourself into believing that the autumn and winter are one long Herbstfest.

I always get a bit uneasy at this time of year though. It’s really difficult to explain. Memories of autumns past come rushing back to me. My first kiss was in the cool autumn breeze of a childhood long gone. I had  an intense romance the autumn I was 16 with a rowdy cowboy, but then I’ve also had some really rough Novembers filled with depression and loneliness and  anxiety, ones where I’ve dropped out of school,  and some years when I’ve done even worse. On a better note, I’ve had autumns filled with international travels to Sweden and to Scotland and to Greece, and ones filled with laughter and friendships to last a lifetime.  But this time of year always feels pivotal, I tend to make the big changes in my life under the light of the October moon, so even when things are fine, I feel myself getting antsy right about now, on the lookout for something big to happen.

I’m dealing with quite a change this year again, living in a new (but ancient-like!) home with Ray, and having his mother around every day. It’s probably the biggest change of all in my life to be quite honest, it’s draining sometimes, but very rewarding other times. We’re jobless, we’re all together a little bit too much, and I feel an overwhelming guilt of not being with my own family in America. I want my alone time back, and I want all the house repairing to be done. I also want jobs for us, babies, and a basset hound named Bernie. Am I asking too much? I don’t think so, and luckily for me, Ray doesn’t think so either, although I’m still trying to convince him that Suzie (our shih-tzu) needs a playmate and that Bernie should come live with us no later than this Christmas, but he’s not buying it. At all. So, things could be better, but they could definitely be worse, and this year I’m definitely NOT planning on throwing my life off the track it’s on just so I can fulfil this awful tradition I have about creating chaos for myself by Thanksgiving. This says a lot for how much I’ve matured over the years. I’m staying right where I am for good, and for all the right reasons. I’m happily planting myself firmly here and preparing for the long haul as the autumn trees are shedding their youthful leaves and preparing for the winter ahead.

My mother-in-law always tells me that self-praise is no praise, and I reply "Well, self-praise is the only kind I'm ever gonna get in this house!" (You'd hafta understand our relationship to see the humor in that conversation!) But outside of the house is another matter! I wrote the following on my friend's Facebook wall today when I noticed how many friends he has on the site:

"Jason you have over 600 friends on here. It makes being your friend feel very insignificant suddenly. hahaaa. :P"

This was his response:

Lately I've been reminded a lot of the little reasons why I love Ray, and it's nice to focus on it because in general, things are a bit rough lately.

-When I'm crabby and snap at him, he doesn't get angry at me, and we've still never really had a fight, after a year and a half. I love to focus on that last part, because every day it still shocks me.

-We have the same taste in furniture and styles of things for the house, and colors. If one of us hates something, we just move on because we know that we'll find something we both love without having to look too hard before we agree. He loves the purple walls we painted. Not so manly, but awesome!

-He plays soccer and is really quite good at it! When he's wearing his black away uniform, he's a babe. Knee-highs are sexy.

-When we're layin on the couch watching tv, and my head is on his leg, he rubs my cheek or plays with my hair the entire time, and doesn't stop. He says it comforts him. It comforts me too.

-He hasn't gotten stressed about losing his job, and reassures me we're going to be fine, no matter what. I believe him.

-He's only 5'6, and he's skinny. When we stand up and kiss, I don't have to get on my toes to reach him.

-He has soft hands. I told him this yesterday and he said, "They're like a teenage girl's hands." Haha.

-He'd do anything to help anyone he cares about.

-I respect him because he takes on a world of responsibility and never complains. About anything. EVER.

-He has long sideburns, and he smells nice. And freckles. And he calls me "baby" with his irish accent in the cutest way.

-He makes me dinner or breakfast sometimes, and shares all the chores. And doesn't bite my head off if I sit on the couch being lazy. He's pretty lazy too actually.

Okay yeah, so I just wanted to share. Makes me grateful and makes me realize how blessed I am. Sorry for the sappiness.